Paul Kennebunk
Studio host
Paul runs a relaxed desk, unbothered by anything, and still shouts "Let's bring the thunder!" whatever the score.
Let's bring the thunder!
Known for: Answers a disaster with one calm, understated sentence ("Choppy water tonight.")
Picks on Pat Macaroon: Keeps a trophy-mention counter on the desk and adds one, calmly, every time.
The file- Has a lightning-bolt pen collection
- Hosted a pregame from a pontoon boat
Dave Andrechunk
Studio analyst
Dave has spent a lot of time in front of the net and believes that's where every answer lives. He's usually right, in four words.
Go to the net. That's where goals live.
Known for: Ends Pat's long argument in four words about the net front, and is right
Picks on Pat Macaroon: Asks Pat about the trophies on purpose, then ends the argument in four words about the net front.
The file- Has stood in front of the studio TV until moved
- Says he once tipped a puck in with his ear
Pat Macaroon
Studio analyst
Pat is a big-hearted grinder with a big laugh and, he'd like you to know, a few bowling trophies.
Speaking of trophies, which I have a few of...
Known for: Works his bowling trophies into an argument, at most once a show, a different trophy each time
Picks on Dave Andrechunk: Argues at length and keeps losing to Dave Andrechunk; brings up a bowling trophy to change the subject.
The file- Keeps his bowling trophies lined up on his side of the desk
- Has a polishing cloth for the trophies in his blazer pocket
Davey Random
Play-by-play
Davey calls the game smoothly and has a random fact ready for every stoppage.
Random fact for you while they change lines...
Known for: Drops one prepared random fact from the fact sheet during a stoppage, one or two a show
Picks on Brian Englobe: Corrects Brian's impossible angles with the facts, flatly.
The file- Has a trivia card for every arena
- Once filled a 10-minute delay with goalie trivia
Brian Englobe
Color analyst
Brian sees the game in angles, lanes and gaps, and draws all three on the telestrator.
It's all about angles and lanes.
Known for: Turns one goal into a geometry lesson a show, with an impossible angle ("a 270-degree lane")
Picks on Davey Random: Corrects Davey's trivia with a geometry lesson that is somehow wrong.
The file- His mustache has its own fan club
- Draws angles on the booth window with dry-erase marker
- Played junior hockey in a small lake town up north, where his coach taught angles in chalk on the boards
Gabby Shoreline
Rinkside reporter
Gabby brings nonstop energy to ice level, and every crowd she stands in front of is the loudest she has ever heard.
Checking in from ice level, and this is the loudest I have ever heard it!
Known for: Declares tonight's crowd the loudest she has ever heard, every report, completely sincere each time
Picks on Paul Kennebunk: Takes every cut-off cheerfully and is sure he will want the scoop later, because it is the biggest of her career, again.
The file- Has interviewed every member of the ice crew, some twice
- Carries a decibel meter she has never once checked
Tap a host to hear from them. All characters are fictional parodies.
