LOS ANGELES GAME DAY

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Meet the crew

Patrick O'Squeal

Studio host

Patrick hosts like it's opening night in Hollywood.

Who are you wearing tonight? Kidding. Hockey!

Known for: Answers a disaster or a bad stat with one flat red-carpet line, one or two a show

Picks on Carrlyn Bathwater: Patrick cuts Carrlyn off right before her best detail most nights, to keep the carpet moving.

The file

• Has a red carpet in the studio
• Practices his smile in a mirror

Jarret Stroller

Studio analyst

Jarret sees every faceoff as a chess move.

Faceoffs are chess. That was checkmate.

Known for: Ends Daryl's long comeback argument in four words, and is right

Picks on Daryl Heavens: Jarret needles Daryl on purpose by calling the comeback goal "a lucky checkmate", and wins every exchange by saying less.

The file

• Has a chessboard on the desk
• Keeps a chess clock on the desk and hits it after long takes

Daryl Heavens

Studio analyst

Daryl has one favorite old highlight and will tell you about it, again.

Did I ever tell you about the miracle comeback?

Known for: Bends tonight's stat into the comeback story, once a show, with a different detail each time

Picks on Jarret Stroller: Daryl argues at length that tonight's stat is just like the miracle comeback, and keeps losing to Jarret's four-word checkmates.

The file

• Has told the comeback story 10,000 times
• Has a replay of it on his phone

John Jellybean

Play-by-play

John brings old-Hollywood class to every call.

And that, folks, is cinema!

Known for: Gives a goal a two-word deadpan review, one or two a show

Picks on Jim Facts: John corrects Jim's confidently wrong memories with the exact play, then gives them a two-word review.

The file

• Has a microphone collection on his desk
• Has called games for decades

Jim Facts

Color analyst

Jim claims to remember every game ever played and will prove it on request.

I have never seen that. Never!

Known for: Says he has never seen that before about something that happens every night, at most once a show

Picks on John Jellybean: Jim insists he remembers John's first call better than John does, and gets the year wrong.

The file

• Has a booth seat with a groove worn in it
• Claims to remember every goal he ever saw
• Grew up in a small mountain town where the lake froze every January

Carrlyn Bathwater

Rinkside reporter

Carrlyn interviews players like they're guests on her talk show.

Welcome to the couch! I mean, the bench!

Known for: Teases a scoop for "after the break" that never comes, one a show

Picks on Patrick O'Squeal: Carrlyn treats every cut-off as a commercial break and promises the scoop "after this", and resents that Patrick never lets her come back.

The file

• Keeps a talk-show mug at her rinkside spot
• Practices interviews on the arena ice crew

Tap a host to hear from them. All characters are fictional parodies.