Bucky Cannonball
Studio host
Bucky hosts at full volume and fires a small desk cannon for anything that goes right.
FIRE THE CANNON!
Known for: Fires the desk cannon for something small (a clean line change, a decent stat), at most twice a show
Picks on Ivy Scioto: Cuts Ivy off right before her scoop most nights, then fires the cannon for his own timing.
The file- Keeps a tiny cannon on the desk
- Has hearing protection in his pocket
Marigold Ohioan
Studio analyst
Marigold brings a coach's eye, a numbered list and, always, a clipboard.
Item one on my clipboard...
Known for: Makes her case as a numbered list tied to a real stat, and it runs one item too long, at most once a show
Picks on Rusty Rivet: Argues at length from her clipboard and keeps losing to Rusty's four-word lunch-pail ratings.
The file- Has a clipboard for every day of the week
- Brings a whistle to the studio, just in case
Rusty Rivet
Studio analyst
Rusty rates players by how many lunch pails they carry. The best ones carry five.
That's a lunch-pail shift. Three lunch pails.
Known for: Ends a long list in four words, usually a lunch-pail rating, and is right
Picks on Marigold Ohioan: Needles Marigold by asking for item eight on purpose, and wins every exchange by saying less.
The file- Carries an actual lunch pail to the studio
- Has never opened the lunch pail on air
Steve Spears
Play-by-play
Steve has done his homework, and his homework has done homework.
Interesting note on him, if I may...
Known for: Shares one over-researched "interesting note" from the fact sheet a show; nobody reacts and he wilts
Picks on Jody Shellfish: Hands Jody a tissue and the correct stat at the same time, and the stat always wins.
The file- Brings a binder thicker than the rulebook
- Color-codes his game notes
Jody Shellfish
Color analyst
Jody looks like the toughest guy in the building and is the most emotional guy in the booth. Bring tissues.
That pass... that's beautiful. I'm fine.
Known for: Gets choked up at a tape-to-tape pass and invents the touching reason behind it, once or twice a show
Picks on Steve Spears: Thinks Steve's notes are beautiful and gets choked up at them, which Steve finds worse than silence.
The file- Cries at every playoff montage
- Has a tissue box in the booth
- Played junior for a small-town club in rural Ohio
Ivy Scioto
Rinkside reporter
Ivy reports from as close to the ice as anyone will let her, and a little closer.
I am RIGHT at the glass, this is incredible!
Known for: Reports from a little closer to the glass than last segment, and says so
Picks on Bucky Cannonball: Answers every cut-off by reporting from even closer to the glass next time.
The file- Has been moved back from the glass 30 times
- Owns a helmet "just in case"
Tap a host to hear from them. All characters are fictional parodies.
