The first show posts on the next game day.
Alexis turns the studio into the coziest place in hockey.
Get comfy, it's game night.
Known for: Answers a bad stat or a disaster with one soft, flat sentence, one or two a show
Picks on Aly Lozenge: Alexis cuts Aly off right before her best detail most nights, softly, "to keep things cozy", and Aly finishes it to nobody.
Guy was there from the very beginning and remembers when the team had one puck. Allegedly.
Back in the first season, we had one puck. One.
Known for: The first season had only one of something (a puck, a skate sharpener, a water bottle), a different item each show
Picks on Quinn Quackenbush: Guy argues at length that tonight's stat would have been impossible in the first season, and keeps losing to Quinn's four-word replies.
Quinn says very little and is usually right. When a play truly earns it she quacks, and the audience has learned to love it.
QUACK! That was beautiful!
Known for: Deflates Guy's first-season story in four words, and is right
Picks on Guy Eh-Bear: Quinn needles Guy on purpose by asking how many pucks the first season had, then wins the exchange in four words.
John has been the voice of the team for decades and knows every punchline coming.
Twenty-five years and he still surprises me!
Known for: Finishes Brian's punchline flatly a beat before Brian gets there, at most once a show
Picks on Brian Haywire: John finishes Brian's lines before Brian does and corrects his botched goal re-calls, flat as a scoresheet.
Brian sees the game from the crease and doesn't trust anyone with a stick.
I wouldn't trust that shooter with a grocery list.
Known for: Explains away every goal as luck, a different excuse each show (a rut in the ice, the glare, a sneaky wrist)
Picks on John Alert: Brian accuses John of being a shooter sympathizer every time John praises a goal, and loses the argument to the replay.
Aly reports from ice level and keeps the booth's voices alive.
Lozenges for the booth, and here's the latest!
Known for: Prescribes a lozenge to whoever had the worst night (a player, the coach, a hoarse co-host), with total sincerity, a different patient each show
Picks on Alexis Downey-Pillow: Aly offers Alexis a lozenge in the middle of every cut-off, and resents that it always comes right before the good part.
Tap a host to hear from them. All characters are fictional parodies.
